Friendships and Relationships

Girls In A Girls Camp–

Published on by Kathy Baker

An all girls camp with female staff and female campers. Some may be inclined to think of it as a breeding ground for the type of stories that make headlines today. I found the opposite to be true, upon interviewing many women over the past few years, although many admitted to their own discovery of their sexuality or to innocent girl crushes.

Although the twenties hearalded a type of sexual revolution, the sixties marked an era that headlined such words as free love, gay rights, feminism, hippies, the pill and women’s movements. A large majority of the women who shared their stories were from the 60’s to 70’s.

M.J. began camping in 1933 and continued for eight years, aware that many of her counselors were indeed gay, “but I never had a problem with that, and just did not get mixed up with it.”

Certainly, girls like M.I., J.L. and G.J. were not the only ones who had girl crushes. It was the late forties and early fifties. Some were tomboys, but others shared sweet stories of having camp crushes on their instructors and counselors.

“There was a counselor I admired and I think that is why I wanted to be a C.I.T., so I could come back and hang out with her on the weekends when the kids were gone between sessions. I hated to leave her and I embarrassed to tell you, because you are the first person I have ever told, that I guess I had a girl crush on her. I was attracted to her. I hated for camp to end. I remember crying before my Mom would ever get to camp every year because I never wanted it to end.”

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Jewish Girls In A Christian Camp

Published on by Kathy Baker

Chapel Hill was a quiet place, with a vision of a spot in the clearing of the woods bearing a cross on a platform. It took years for Sheryl Biesman (1973-78) to realize that YWCA on the podium stood for Young Women’s Christian Association. She was Jewish, but felt no prejudice and if there had been, she would not have camped there.

Kerry Weber (1952) recalled the marches up to Chapel Hill, singing all the way, but another incident occurred that she had not forgotten. “Something that impressed me was the day I heard two girls talking to a Jewish girl. One was Episcopal and one was Catholic. They told the Jewish girl she shouldn’t be in a Christian camp, and she told the Catholic girl, you’re not Christian, you’re Catholic!”

“I am Jewish and there were very few of us at that time in Bay City and at camp. I remember climbing up to Chapel Hill on Sundays all dressed in white. I loved it,” said Laya Hennes (1939). “To join in the singing touched my heart. In a Jewish service, it is so different. I love my religion, but it is not in English. There was something so familiar and wonderful when I heard those melodies and words, especially in the midst of the trees overlooking the lake.”

Ilene Zacher (1959-62), as the oldest Jewish girl in her school, remembered she mouthed the words to the Christian songs on Chapel Hill, but did not recall if she was able to “opt out” of the services. She never experienced any prejudice, and remarked “You have to remember in that day, we still said the Lord’s Prayer in school, so I took those things in stride.”( Her father was very involved in the Anti-Defamation League and was also one of the soldiers who liberated the prisoners in Dachau.)

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Minorities–

Published on by Kathy Baker

Having the opportunity to camp with girls of all ages, backgrounds and religions helped to develop Kathy Krohn’s (1965-68) sense of self at a very young age. “It was very freeing to be around so many types of people. I felt no prejudices, despite being Jewish. I just felt a great group dynamic and it was a very valuable experience for me.”

The earliest mention of any minoritiy was from 1942 camper Dorothy Bonnen who had this memory; “There were eight cabins and they all had screened windows all around. My younger sister Muriel went, but she was down the trail. There were some colored girls from Saginaw and they picked Muriel, Louanne Young  and Pearl Majeski to bunk in with them. I guess they thought they had the personalities to handle the situation. It was not the greatest cabin to be in and they expected trouble, but these girls were exceptionally good at handling it all.”

“There were always little contests being set up, to see who could learn to set a table and the colored girls, I don’t think, had ever done anything like this before. Well, my sister’s cabin set the table and the colored girls stood at the end of the table with towels over their arms. They stood like they were waiters and went one past us to out-do us. I think they got an honorable award.”

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Handling Cliques–

Published on by Kathy Baker

“The YWCA had always been about service and sending girls to camp,” said seventies staffer Karen Selby, who admitted her coming of age at Maqua included the fact she was the only African America girl at camp with the name Karen and the only African American staffer the camp had had.

“ I noticed there were two types that went to camp. Those who had rich summer friendships and returned summer after summer and those who were middle to upper class, whose parents could afford to send them. Some of the girls showed up with their stuff in grocery bags and may not have even had their own toothpaste. That is when I saw the other side. I never thought of myself as “having” until I came to Maqua. It was more of an understanding, for me, how there were kids raised in poverty and the service and love of the women who ran the camp. It was the beginning of a real understanding for me.”

Doris Engibous (1967-70) saw a similar side to the camp environment. “The independence and self confidence that came from being in a safe, caring, supportive, loving and challenging atmosphere was wonderful,” she said. “It was an adventuresome and athletic environment with generally good people who were really good to each other, especially the counselors. They were smart role models for the campers, who really admired them and wanted to be like them. I suppose there were some little cliques and some levels of hurtfulness that was natural, but it was “snuffed out”, because everyone was there to learn.”

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Cliques–

Published on by Kathy Baker

“You could tell there were cliques or groups, but it was never in a mean way. It was usually the Saginaw girls, the Bay City Girls, the Detroit girls—and they were usually in the same hut, so they just hung out together,” said Deb Wilkinson (1964-66).” I do remember the girls from the wealthier families were able to stay at camp later and I was always in awe of that. My Mom had worked in the same Italian restaurant and she worked to pay for our fees, and it was a lot of money back then.”

Tally Cone (1960-65) learned during her time that some girls were more malicious with their pranks. She also had a keen awareness of the dynamics of the girls and the cliques that were formed and broken. She recalled coming to camp with girls from her middle school that were popular. “They were not as cliquey at camp as they were at school. They thought they were “hot stuff” in junior high, but when they got to camp and found other girls shined in activities in camp that they did not excel, it was a different dynamic. And I found I liked some of the girls much better than I had liked them!”

Sister Laurie Cone (1962-68) had an outgoing personality, was talkative and made friends easily, but agreed there were a few cliques. “As a counselor you would try to break them up, but for the most part everyone got along well. Sue Kiltie and I were both from Birmingham, but we always told everyone we were from Detroit, because they thought we were rich bitches if we said Birmingham,’ she laughed. “By the end of two weeks all of those alliances would melt away and everyone would be sobbing.”

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Mean Girls—

Published on by Kathy Baker

A few fights were remembered,  and included one in Dawn Sohigian’s last year at camp in 1974, but it usually involved the campers. Margot Homburger (1946-52) had a memory of a mean counselor, who wanted one of her friends, (who was younger), to be in her cabin. It did not happen. When the girls went on an overnight hike, the counselor refused to tell them what to bring, but Margot said she did not let it spoil her trip.

Cindy Rose described herself as a tiny middle school girl in the late sixties when she attended Camp Maqua in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades. Born in 1957, she told me she had a lot of adjustment and was teased quite a bit when she went to camp. Her counselors were always kind to her and she recalled a short counselor named Penny with blonde hair that was her favorite.

“It was sad to have the girls picking on me and I saw them do it to others. They hid girl’s bras if they wore them. I wasn’t teased for wearing one because I was the last one in eighth grade to wear one, but when I developed, I developed so fast that I was teased for stuffing my bra and girls in school actually tore my bra off. I was devastated.” (Ironically, although another girl instigated another incident at Camp Maqua, Cindy went in on the teasing for another full-breasted girl and told me she could not wait to apologize.)

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